If you had asked me 2 years ago the kind of people I do not like to associate with, I probably would have said people pleasers. I never could understand why people gained joy and satisfaction from agreeing with other people. Like, don’t you have your own identity?
This year, I listened to people pleaser by Catburns and I love the song! I took my time to understand the lyrics and what message she was trying to pass across. I realized people pleasers also do not like to be the way they are. I got to understand that they feel like they were machined that way. They are scared to act out and they believe the only way to go about life is to suck up to people.
I also read a blog on people pleasing which was written by a friend of mine. I got to have to deeper insight on how it feels to live as a people pleaser. My friend wrote about how hard she carried out people’s wishes. How she had to change her walking style and how she had to be another person to please people. What got me the most was her finally deciding to stop being someone else but herself but she doesn’t even know how to. But regardless, she has decided to take it one day at a time.
I felt that. I felt a lot of mixed emotions because I had always misjudged them. I felt like they exhibited such behaviours to seek favours from others. But now, I know better.
To all the people pleasers, it’s OK to say NO. It’s ok to not agree with people and it’s ok to get angry. I understand how hard saying NO can be because I was once there but saying NO can create healthy boundaries. It’s OK to take time off and figure out yourself. I mean aren’t we all trying to discover ourselves? That’s what life is about, it’s about exploring and discovering.
I hope you realize you are enough as yourself and you do not need to be anybody else. And if your current friends don’t like the new you, move on. Change is constant. Move with people whose values align with yours. Embrace the new you without having to please people and I assure you, being just you is perfect.
